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About The Book

An Evening Standard 'One to Watch' in 2022

You’re a black man. 
Aggressive. Athletic. 
Feared. Fetishised. 
Policed. Politicised.
It’s limiting. It’s tiring. And it’s not true. 
In this important and inspiring book, Obioma Ugoala tells his own story as he examines the problems with how race, sex and masculinity are portrayed and experienced by Black men – and how to change that. 

‘Whipsmart and refreshingly vulnerable. In this book, Obioma Ugoala brilliantly exposes the systems and the individuals that have long perpetuated dangerous and irresponsible ideals around Blackness and masculinity.’ Candice Carty-Williams, author of Queenie

“A blisteringly honest take on contemporary Britishness that manages to be both nuanced and shocking. Highly recommended.” Afua Hirsch, author of Brit(ish)

"A valiant venture of a book that is somehow both tender memoir and unflinching excavation of the sociological blights that affect both self and society. Looking outward, inwards and forward, it lucidly explores complicated truths. Hopeful and honest, uncomfortable and encouraging, it is a book this country needs." Bolu Babalola, author of Love in Colour

“An urgent, personal, compassionate book that never backs away from the difficulty of what we are facing but provides a forgiving mirror and a useable map so we can truly reflect & navigate. Obioma Ugoala’s treatise should be a set text for a world in crisis.” Deborah Frances White

'In his enquiring memoir, he astutely explores where the expectations of his race and masculinity meet, unpicking and challenging his past experiences of prejudice. His personal stories are told in the context of the wider culture, and the book is a compassionate rallying cry to be more conscious.' Evening Standard

‘Why can’t I be seen for who I am? What is the problem with my normal penis?’
Obioma Ugoala is an actor, activist, singer, writer, Arsenal supporter and rugby player. A brother, son and loyal friend whose passions and influences range from Mozart to Mariah Carey, from The Karate Kid to Sidney Poitier. He is also a man of mixed Nigerian and Irish heritage and throughout his life, whether in the classroom, the changing room, the rehearsal room or the bedroom, he has had to contend with people failing to address their own prejudices about what they conceive a Black man to be.
In this ground-breaking and revealing account, Ugoala confronts these prejudices head on, challenging notions of race, sex and masculinity that have over centuries become embedded in British society, poisoning the public discourse and blighting people’s lives – including, on occasion, his own. With unflinching honesty, Ugoala talks about his own experiences and challenges us all to face our personal failings, while offering a vision of a more positive future if we dare to do better.

About The Author

Obioma Ugoala is an actor, writer and workshop facilitator in schools and institutions focusing on how organisations can move from token diversity to active anti-racist institutions.

Since graduating from Drama Centre London he has performed extensively with The Royal Shakespeare Company, touring with them to China and New York. Most recently he has been in London’s West End, starring in the Original London Companies of Frozen: The Musical as Kristoff, Hamilton as George Washington, and Motown: The Musical as Smokey Robinson, as well as spearheading a campaign of outreach to BAME students in the Greater London area. His recent viral video for PoliticsJOE, How to Become a True Ally on being a better ally in the anti-racist struggle has had more than 2 million views.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Scribner UK (March 31, 2022)
  • Length: 304 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781398504783

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Raves and Reviews

“A blisteringly honest take on contemporary Britishness that manages to be both nuanced and shocking. Highly recommended.” 

– Afua Hirsch, author of Brit(ish)

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