Scrambled Greens

Ugly sneakers, Dad sneakers, no thank you

I remember when ugly sneakers/ dad sneakers started becoming a thing. I was at a terrace chatting with a friend when she suddenly stopped mid-sentence mouth agape. I followed her gaze and soon understood what had stunned her into silence. She’d just had her first sighting of Balenciaga’s Triple S – and they’d understandably hit her like a bad case of acid reflux.

I burst out laughing. Firstly because there was such a stark contrast between the Triple S wearer’s smug I’m-so-right-now look and my friend’s WTF-are-those-ugly-things expression. Secondly because I couldn’t actually believe anyone would willingly want to be seen in such dubious footwear in broad daylight – and feel good about it.   

As you’ll have gathered, I’m not a Triple S fan. In fact I’m not a fan of any ugly sneakers/ dad sneakers/ whatever you want to call them full stop. I get that they’re hype. I get they’re turning fashion upside down by making something so unattractive (supposedly) attractive. I get that they might be ironic. Bla bla bla. But more than anything I get that they look so rough that you sometimes have to question someone’s sanity when you see them tumbling down the road in them. Like WHY?

Hype as they might be, they don’t actually look good and surely if you’re rocking something, it should be enhancing you in some way. As time goes on the ugly sneaker is gaining ground and high street brands are now spouting out their own grim versions. Chunky awkward soles, loud flashy mismatched colurs, bulky almost-childlike silhouettes, as many OTT tacky embellishments as possible and not a hint of elegance or tastefulness in sight. What utter hell. Those that love them see themselves as pioneers, fashion forerunners who are in on the joke. Those that hate them see the sneakers as a joke and proof that with clever marketing, people can be fooled into buying anything.

Converse, Vans, Ash, Golden Goose, Common Projects, Veja and the list goes on. There are so many good sneakers out there so why on earth are we being encouraged to seek out butt ugly numbers in the name of some shady trend? Just because you can afford something doesn’t mean you should be duped into buying rank goods as status symbols.

This is one trend we’ll definitely skip – in fly sneakers. And we’re not sorry.

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